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MY BIRTHDAY:
I was born on December 28th and this past birthday I got a particularly special little treat: Josue. I get called down from rounding on my post-partum patients to see a newly arrived patient in triage who may be in labor. She's quite uncomfortable, speaks English with a Creole accent, and has had 1 other child. I examine her in triage and she is at 6cm, so she has 4 whole centimeters to go before she can begin attempting to push this kid out. So I declare her an admission and she is rolled to one of the labor rooms. I begin writing up all of her paperwork, including her orders and medical history, when one of the nurses yells "Dr. Torres, you need to check her again. She's REALLY uncomfortable." In my line of work interruptions are standard, but I was kind of annoyed at this interruption because I had checked her literally 20 minutes before and I knew she couldn't have reached 10 cm THAT fast. So I go into the room and, yes, she's writhing in the bed (also common in my line of work), so I put my glove on (only one because that's all you need to check a cervix) and as I ask her to let her legs relax to the sides, I see an infant's head coming out of her vagina! I cry out, "She's delivering! Get the attending! Break the bed!" and I deliver the baby with one glove on and one glove off... I asked the patient to please let the next doctor know during her labor that she tends to go FAST. Josue was the first baby I ever delivered on my birthday, I'm sure I'll never forget it. (On a side note, later that day I admitted a woman with my same last name and she was scheduled for a C-section, but I didn't get to be in on that delivery-- it would have been neat to deliver a child with my same surname on my birthday.)
MISC:
So I'm in triage and a woman comes in who is 24 years old and this is her 5th pregnancy, she has 4 children at home. She is accompanied by the father of her baby (FOB, as we say in the biz) and she's come to us fearing she's in labor too early. I rule her out for pre-term labor and, as is my custom, I complete my time with her by asking if there are any questions. She shakes her head but the Peanut Gallery in the corner pipes up and asks: "When can she get her tubes tied?" As my blood boils it takes every bit of will and strength in me not to smack this guy upside the head and tell him he's an arse, I decide to instead reply: "You realize you can actually get YOUR tubes tied, right?" He looked at me as if I had just proposed we chop off his willie. (Which I'm also certified to do, at least the foreskin.) He vigorously shook his head and said, "No way, no way am I doin' that!" Mind you not only did he ask when his baby momma could get her tubes tied but he also had just clearly explained to me that they did not want anymore children... However having his "tubes tied" was not going to work for that plan. So I explained that a vasectomy was much easier than a tubal ligation, that it's a matter of a doctor's visit for a man while a woman must undergo surgery in an operating room. As I'm explaining this, the woman is looking at me like, "wow, I had no idea!" and the guy is looking at me like, "Lady, you're wacked out of your mind if you think a knife is getting anywhere near my twig and berries!" At any rate, I think I at least educated the woman that birth control is not always only her responsibility, especially when it comes to permanent sterilization. (Keep in mind my reaction would have been quite different had SHE been the one asking about HER OWN tubal ligation.)
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